you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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