Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
