ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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