Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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