nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
