My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm jealous of your bromance
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize