3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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