toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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