I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
