the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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