What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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