I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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