Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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