let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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