You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You took a bar mat shot.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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