I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
