You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
