Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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