Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just cropdusted the office
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
