You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
