This is not my ceiling
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize