When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
