brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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