clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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