Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
