My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
