I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
