haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
