Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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