If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
