Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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