Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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