We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
