I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
