we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize