White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
