I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
