yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
