he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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