Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
