my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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