just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
two words...techno handjob
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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