no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i out mim tonsoeep
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
