My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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