Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
