the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
