with your own penis?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
