i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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