I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
