My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
