Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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