yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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