i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
