It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
