I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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