I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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