i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
