She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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