I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
