i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
