No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
