i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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