if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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