i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
When are your genitals available?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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